coping tools


Obviously this is a primary coping tool: digging in with this most amazingly tender, funny, remarkable, and clever child. It’s the most fundamental place for me to go — to be in his world whether reading together or using chalk or exploring outside. It’s where I can feel certain that he is safe and thriving and well, versus the worry, preoccupation, and internal vigilance when we are apart. He’s an anchor that keeps me grounded. In turn I pray that I meet all of his needs, as he encounters them.

My favorite thing I’ve ever been is this child’s mother. My favorite thing I’ve ever done was to grow him from scratch, and that job perpetuates in parenting. I don’t take that for granted. It is a complete honor to mother him.

coping tools for the next 4 years


I feel like half of my life is cooking while listening to podcasts. I took that, ‘the nutrition children receive in the first 3 years is vital to future eating patterns’ thing *really* seriously (aside from Christmas cookies). But also, it’s methodical… I’m making something, my hands and brain are occupied (note to self: make 2017 the year I finally learn how to knit), and it generally leaves no crack for the din to seep in.

*A note on coping tools: For me this little series is a way to catalog what helps and what works, because when anxiety inevitably blooms after reading the news, it can be extremely easy to forget and to actively despair. (This happened the other night when I found myself researching how to build a fallout shelter until 2 a.m. On the plus side I learned a bit about trenching.)

Some of these coping tools available to me are obviously rooted in class privilege, as in, I have child care part-time, which means 1) I can afford child care and 2) having it sometimes allows me to create pockets of time in which to partake in the activities that help keep me sound. I recognize that many, many people do not have these sorts of options and resources.

For friends I see struggling now, especially those in targeted communities and the survivors (who are constantly triggered by the president elect) please stay sound, or as sound as you can. Identify who and what helps you, supports you, encounters you mutually and reciprocally, and keep them all so close.